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Oh dear, the Alien symptom's back again

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I don't know why I call it the 'Alien symptom' - I've just made it up, but for now it seems to fit. I get it often, usually when I really need to concentrate and take in what's being said or what I need to learn. I think it's some of that 'brain fog', it's like someone's pulled a curtain over my eye that won't hang properly, and everything just goes blurred. I am trying to read a page in front of me, but I cannot see it properly: I try to blink, to shake my head a little, and in some cases it works but in others it doesn't do a thing. It happens in kickboxing - I am trying to watch a routine that's being showed about four times over, and usually an extra time just for me, and I am having to force myself to 'wake up', 'listen', 'concentrate'.

There is an old little motto that I used not many years ago, before I found out I was hypothyroid, and was finding concentration a difficult task; in fact I even used it once to get myself to sleep with a burning ear infection: 'easy, easy, concentrate, easy, easy, concentrate', over and over until it made a difference, and then when it was needed again, not long after, I'd think it or whisper or say it aloud all over again, over and over until it made a difference. I think this motto ought to come back strong into my mind in times of Alien symptom (I will think of a better name for it at some point).

Why do I name it 'Alien symptom' for now? Because during this point listening is extremely hard; reading or watching something even harder, and I have literally 'blanked out' of reality's presence. I am almost completely unable to communicate - if I must, it requires force and effort, the thought-process of which means that listening and taking in cannot happen at the same time. I am there and yet not there, fading away into the background, and what I missed will no doubt come back to haunt me later.

It happened today during an interview, for longer than I expected, too. Luckily it was during a point when I was only needed to listen and look - I suppose stress, adrenaline, all, reduced suddenly and then hit the reality of blankness that is a hypothyroid's (or mine, anyway) world. It came at first with quite a strength, and I blinked and discreetly shook it away, and then it immediately came back again, and there it stayed until it was ready to go. It was like I was entering a daydream; I can imagine my eyes were just wide and staring, my entire body stunned into a locked position. What is this?

When it went I carried on as I ought, although with a dreading thought about the important points that I'd missed. It has happened a few times since, although never for as long and not as bad as that time earlier today.

I do get this frequently, but I am assuming that it is purely because of my low thyroid - when my thyroid was actually 'normal' I don't remember experiencing it, but perhaps I was just too excited by the new-found freedom and lightness, bounding along as I was, that I didn't notice. Perhaps this time I will take more note, record the changes maybe, on here.

Does anyone else get this? Do you think it is the thyroid, or related to something else? I wear contact lenses, do you think it might have something to do with that?

I suppose it makes sense for anyone who is not quite at perfect health, or still far off, to, during a demanding few hours, where there comes a sudden rest, a steady target for the eyes, and no water despite an easily dehydrated person, to jump at the chance of blanking out.

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  1. thyroid nil's Avatar
    I'm aware of a concentration problem. More so since the T3/T4 change over. Its like your concentration isnt working, your trying to focus, but it isnt happening, a bit like when you wake-up with a 'dead-arm' and try to rub your face (sorry, its the only analogy I can come up with).
    Motivation is slipping away. Diversely enough, I found waking up on T3 a nightmare but motivation was excellent, T4 its the opposite, Im sleeping less, but living like an OAP. Slow thought functions, motivationally poor, just bad.
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